Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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