So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
