i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
