i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
