last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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