Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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