you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
