Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I'm really busy with my period
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