OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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