mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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