He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize