I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
