taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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