i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
