Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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