I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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