I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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