Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am spending my child support on dildos
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My dick has a subreddit
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
