He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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