3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
wanna go halves on a baby?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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