So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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