quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
