Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize