my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
smell my finger.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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