I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
