Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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