im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
whose parrot is this?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
