he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
