I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
