i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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