apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
