Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
