Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
