my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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