hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
