He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
