My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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