That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
