yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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