There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
