But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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