I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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