ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
