No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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