We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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