She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
