FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
