did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
