This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
