I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the day after is always just damage control
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
