I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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