Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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