Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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