Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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