party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
