So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize