just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
