dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
